According to the Urban Dictionary, cuckolding means “a man who willingly encourages his wife to sleep with other people because it brings him pleasure. Cuckolds exist on a spectrum between two extremes. One on end is the masochistic cuckold who enjoys humiliations, degradation, and other demeaning activities at the hands of his wife and her lover. The alpha cuckold lies at the opposite end of the spectrum and does not enjoy any form of humiliation and often has a direct say in who his wife sleeps with and when”
However I would like to go more into depth explaining what cuckolding means and both the benefits and consequences of cuckolding. I get cuckolds everyday, or better said, I talk to men that fantasize about cuckolding daily. Most of them dream about this perfect relationship where their partner finds someone to enjoy having sex everyday. Most of them enjoy the humiliation side of cuckolding and they combine it with cum eating, pegging, chastity training and sissification as well.
They dream about their partner becoming really mean and cruel to them, treating them like nothing, forcing them to watch her having fun with an “real man”. A man that can provide the sexual needs she crave. They also see themselves cleaning her of the real man’s cum and why not even take part in the sexual intercourse by sucking, getting fucked and more.
Now let’s get to the real aspect of this. Even if many of them would say they would gladly accept their partner cheating on them and find someone else to have fun with, is it really the truth?! We all have fantasies and everything is perfect in them, because is something we create in order to find sexual pleasure, however do cuckolding really have no consequences?
In order to have a real cuckolding relationship, I believe that both partners have to understand, trust and really know each other. They have to discuss their limits and when I say limits I am not necessarily meaning fetish wise. Do they have the ability to handle all the emotions that come with the fetish? Can they trust the partner to not cross the boundaries and use the fetish as a cover up for the start of a new relationship? Do the cuckoldress see her partner the same as before? Will the cuckold be alright with the idea of knowing his partner will find someone new and create some sort of new connection? Be it attraction, desire or something even deeper?
Considering the aspects above, can we really continue our life and relationship as before? I’ve had many submissives telling me about their first attempt of a cuckolding arrangement, attempt that did not go well. Why? you may ask. Well, first because according to them, they start having all these dark thoughts about how their wives might enjoy being with the other guy more and leave them, secondly they could not actually watch their wives enjoying and being pleased by another man. They told me that the fantasy in their head was amazing, they were aroused by it for years and they could imagine every single detail, however, like I said earlier, out fantasies are perfect because they are a product of our imagination fueled by desire. In reality, seeing the one we love and planing in spending our whole life with, being in a intimate position with someone else, might awaken the jealousy we never thought we had. Realizing that the person we love can be perfectly fine without us, does not sound so sexy anymore isn’t?
How can we have a relationship where cuckolding can be a part of our sexual life? Well as I mentioned earlier, the first steps taken towards building a deeper relationship with your partner, relationship that allows both of you to explore your fantasies and desires together, to be open about them and being able to fullfill them without regrets is to be able to openly communicate with each other in order to gain the trust needed to go forward. To pay attention to your partner and understand their boundaries. Is your partner able to see you in your more vulnerable state and still be there for you? Do you trust your partner to be able to have sexual relationships with someone without having any emotions attached towards the person she sleeps with?
If you are still insecure about everything I’ve asked but still willing to try being in a cuckolding relationship, then perhaps the advice I give to my submissives could also work with you. For the first cuckolding arrangement, you should book a holiday for you and your partner, somewhere far away from home. Somewhere were you both can relax, enjoy the holiday and why not, enjoy each other. Once you are sure you can do this, also once you are sure your partner wants to try as well, find someone, a man that your partner finds attractive and propose to that man a one night stand cuckolding arrangement. Why should you try this while in holiday? Well first of all, when we are far away from home, relaxing, we are more willing to try new things. Secondly, there are very few chances to be able to meet the man that you and your partner had any sexual intercourse with, so there will be less chances for you to think that your partner may engage in more than just a one night stand with the other person and thirdly, if things do not go so well, you will consider it as an memory of a silly thing you did to spice up your relationship while in holiday.
Everything I have said so far, was something I said taking in consideration that your partner already knows about your cuckolding fantasy and is both willing and agreeing with it, however if your partner has no idea about it and you do not know if the partner is even open to the idea of cuckolding, then the situation is still at a fantasy level. I’m not saying that if is at a fantasy level it should stay there but you will need a whole new approach when it comes to it. From subtle remarks, asking if she finds anyone attractive, perhaps she already has a celebrity she likes, making jokes like ” Oh if you had sex with X, I would watch, would that be weird? ” to anything that might give you an idea of how she feels about cuckolding. Maybe you are lucky! In a future post I will talk about ideas on how to approach your partner when it comes to fetishes you do not know their view on.